• Home
  • About
  • Press
  • Shop
  • Contact

Why You Shouldn’t Care What People Think

October 8, 2014  //  Health

post2Ahhhhh, this quote makes me smile 🙂

It feels good to say and good to think. A lot of times, we care waaaaaay too much what people think. We accept the status quo and work hard at pleasing others, often at the expense of our own happiness or true desires. We care how doing certain things will make us look, what people are saying about us behind our backs, what our friends and family will think of us, how we are being perceived, etc etc. But when all is said and done and we do the expected thing we “should” do we aren’t usually that stoked on life. What’s up with that?

 

Living in a way that takes what other people think into the utmost concern before our own personal dreams/goals/desires is a terrible way to live. Not being true to yourself and living out of accordance with your purpose is exhausting. Being a follower because it’s the “safest” and most comfortable way to be slowly but surely chips away at our sense of self and confidence.   About 3.5 years ago, I dropped out of law school. The only reason I really ended up there in the first place was that my dad is an attorney and I wanted to please him and do something he would be proud of and deem acceptable. Plus, that’s just what people do right? They go to college, get a degree, go to grad school, get another degree, go to work, provide for their family, save for retirement, retire, and die. Sounds fun yeah? Yeah….sure. And do they do this because they love what they’re doing or because they’re fearful of what will happen to their life if they don’t? For a few, the former will be true, but for the majority, it’s the latter. And as we know, all of our decisions are made from fear and love.

 

When I dropped out, I cared SO much what people would say and think about me that I just didn’t tell anyone. My parents didn’t know, my friends didn’t know, and nobody other than my school advisor knew. I needed space and time to come to terms with it without judgment or pressure. It all happened when I was studying for finals in the library after months of being completely miserable with my chosen path and started breathing heavily and sweating. I quickly realized I was freaking out. In the middle of the library I was having a full blown panic attack and I couldn’t control how quickly I was losing my cool and feeling totally and completely swallowed up by fear and panic. I got up and made a mad dash to my academic advisor. I asked for withdrawal papers as I was snotting and tearing up all over her. She looked part alarmed/confused/and pitiful of my state and within 10 minutes I had signed my own release forms from law school. My entire direction changed in an instant and all of my hard work was blown to pieces. I walked to my car with an eerie sense of calm and for the first time in months and months, a little hope.

 

The next several months were a blur. I had no sense of direction, so I woke up everyday, got dressed in work-like attire, and took my laptop to Coffee Bean at 8:30am to map out my new life. Did I want to go back to school for something else? Did I want to move back home? How and when would I eventually tell my parents? Should I go to Europe and somehow tell my parents it’s a study abroad for school so they would pay for it until I figured out my next move? Should I get a retail job to kill time and make some money? It became exhausting TRYING so hard to just be happy and figure out what I really wanted my life to be. So, I finally stopped trying and just starting doing what felt good. And that was tons and tons of yoga. I went to classes all day everyday, and 2 months later I was enrolled in a teacher training.

 

I began working at the studio teaching some classes and working the front desk. I always had my cold pressed juice at work because I had started juicing many years ago to deal with the effects of Celiac’s disease and it was an important part of my diet. Celiac’s is an autoimmune intolerance to gluten that I dealt with my entire childhood in the form of eczema, an autoimmune skin rash all over my body. When I was finally diagnosed, I had a lot of digestive trauma and malbsorption issues from consuming gluten for so long without knowing it was the root of my health problems. I began juicing as a teenager to heal my digestive tract and absorb nutrients in an easily digestible way with minimal digestive labor or abrasion. I saw my health take a major turn for the better and was fascinated with nutrition and the healing power of food from then on.

 

Fast forward a few months working at the studio and a guy named Eric walked in to take classes. We were both drinking juice and struck up conversation about it. It turned out he was a raw food chef and we had a major shared interest in nutrition. We geeked out about all things health and quickly became best friends. Over the course of the next year, we built up a home delivery juice business throughout San Diego, and got the attention of 2 investors (now our partners). That home delivery business is now the Suja you know today. When Suja hit shelves, I finally told my parents I hadn’t been in school for quite some time. And nothing ever felt more relieving. It was like I had removed the mask and was showing who I really was. The jig was up and I was free.

 

So, what’s the point? The point is, I could tie up what I’m doing with my life with a pretty pink bow and make it sounds so nice, but that wouldn’t be the true story. I didn’t just graduate, know I wanted to start a juicing business, and run off into the sunset happy as could be. I had NO IDEA I would end up doing this. Sure I had been juicing and extensively researching nutrition for years, but I never thought I could actually make that my “job”. That’s just not typical and not what people do. That was a hobby, not a career. Or so I was raised to believe…

 

The reality is, we are a tiny speck of existence in the big scheme of things and nobody will know our names in 100 years. And if they do, we won’t be around to enjoy it. So why do we care so much what people say or think about us and actively participate in creating our lives in accordance with what’s acceptable or admirable based on society’s standards? Nothing really matters when you realize how small our lives are and how quickly they go by. We can all really do whatever we want. The reason we are here is to live in accordance with our purpose. We all have those things that make us excited, inspired, and invigorated and for some reason we tend to feel they aren’t worthy of becoming our life’s work. I remember being a child and thinking I really wanted to be an artist but believing I couldn’t realistically do that. Because art wasn’t a safe desk job that would provide for a family unless you were a Monet or Picasso. And I couldn’t be like them because I was just average like everybody else. They were famous and special. So, I set out to be like my parents and everyone else around me. And I ended up miserable until I undid it all and got back to me and who I really am and did what really makes me tick.

 

If you love something, do it. If you have a dream, chase it. Don’t be scared to jump. You have to dive in headfirst if you ever want to swim anywhere fun, exciting, and beautiful. It’s for sure uncomfortable and scary to step into the unknown and do things against the grain. And it’s definitely a little tough to brush off what people say or think and the expectations placed upon us. But who really cares what they think? They don’t have to live your life. They don’t have to wake up and be you everyday. So what they say or think doesn’t really matter. How you feel does.

 

If you’re struggling in a situation that’s not right for you or searching for something you feel missing, don’t ignore those feelings. Listen to them closely and take a good look at your life, the choices you make, and why you make them. Is there anything wrong with being a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant? No! If that’s what you love, do whatever it takes to be that and don’t stop until you’re there. But if you’re doing something because you think you should be doing it, you will never be truly happy in that place. I urge you to stop trying so hard and let the things you’re passionate about take over. Don’t be afraid to make changes and follow your heart. Let judgments, expectations, and negative comments pass right by you. Only you know the right direction for you.

Have you ever let the opinions of others dictate your actions? Do you still?

X

 // 

SHARE

Previous
Next
  • Elizabeth Walker

    Annie – this is so good. I love it! Resonates so much.

    xx,
    Elizabeth

  • Liz Stark

    That quote and this post are SO spot-on. It’s often difficult to ignore what other people think and say, but it’s so important so do what’s right for yourself, not because someone else thinks you should. All the more reason to filter out the negative people in your life and keep the positive, supportive people, activities, etc. in your life. Thankfully I am doing better with not letting others’ opinions or even potential opinions (what I think they will end up thinking, if that makes sense) dictate my actions, and I am very grateful for the supportive family and friends that are around me.

    And most importantly, thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences, and overcoming the fear. You’re super inspiring in all aspects!

  • Lia

    Loooved this post! I can relate to this sooo much. I was laid off my last job last year and spent the last year trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I had everyone around me (still sort of ) telling me to go back to that line of work (it was corporate) because of the paycheck, benefits, blah blah. But the reality is: I hated it there and was stressed out all the time and miserable. I don’t want that kind of life. Now I am doing something that I love and its scary, because the money isn’t there yet. But I am in a much better place mentality then I ever was before. I realized that most people are scared to go off and do something out of the norm. As a result of that, most people are miserable! I think that’s terrible. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short. Time goes by anyway, why waste it?

  • Chrissy

    This is perfect! Love! Definitely saving this to go back too later.

  • smart troll

    what about the great majority (that you’re not apart of) that drop out of law school, medical school, etc. because at the time it’s extremely challenging only to find themselves not starting a multi-million dollar company? What about the people who have hundreds of thousands of dollars of student debt who need their law degree to pay it off? Just because what happened to work for you does NOT mean it will work for everyone who is struggling in school. I’m speaking from experience — I went to law school and I went through exactly what you’re describing (hot sweats, panic attacks, etc. during finals). Not everyone has the ability to just “drop out”, especially if law really is their true passion but getting to the end is extremely mentally, emotionally, and physically challenging.

    I’m glad it worked out for you, but please don’t make it seem like those who do see their graduate degrees through to the end are “only doing it for what others think.” That is quite the disservice to those who persevere, graduate and pass the bar exam.

  • smart troll

    I would just like to add as an intro that I love your blog, fashion, and health knowledge, But I can’t help but feel targeted as a reader when you make it sound like obtaining a graduate degree is something to apologize for or think that it was obtained solely for what other’s think. Women in the law field (especially leading as an executive in the “big law” environment) are exceedingly underrepresented. If a person, especially a women, has the ability and desire to go to law school and practice law it should be encouraged.

  • blawnde

    Hi! Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I am by no means saying dropping out is “the answer”. I am sharing my experience that my life opened up when I stopped doing something that wasn’t right for me. Please note where I said “Is there anything wrong with being a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant? No! If that’s what you love, do whatever it takes to be that and don’t stop until you’re there.” and I absolutely mean that. There is a difference between hating school but having the light at the end of the tunnel of knowing it’s all for something you love versus knowing you do not want your life to end in that direction. The process of building Suja has not been pleasant or “easy” by any means and there have been sleepless nights and lots of work involved that often felt too much to bear. BUT, different from law school, for me, there was so much passion and love involved in what I was doing that I didn’t have before. I would be writing this post whether or not I had not been as fortunate to have Suja. Because if not Suja, I would be working on something else I am passionate about.

  • blawnde

    Agreed! I fully encourage any person – man or woman – to pursue their passions. Law happens to be the path I chose that was not for me but this is in no way an attack on law, the field of practicing, or choosing that profession. I fully support anyone pursuing a graduate degree in anything they want to do.

  • blawnde

    🙂 XX

  • blawnde

    I love that Lia! Good for you! It’s definitely scary when the paycheck isn’t there, but the funny thing is, you sound happier now than when the paycheck was there and you were stressed out and miserable. And our emotional well being is really more important than money because you can always make money, but you can’t get time spent being miserable back. X

  • blawnde

    Thank you!! I’m so glad this resonates with you. It really can be difficult to fliter out the negative people, comments, and opinions, but if you don’t, they can take over your life. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who support you, love you, and want to see you be your best self and do things you love. Doing what’s right for YOU takes a lot of self respect and confidence, but it’s so worth it. You have to live the life you create, nobody else. Thanks for reading! XX

  • blawnde

    I’m so glad! Thank you for reading! XX

  • Kat Motl Meeker

    I love this! Our society (especially in America) really emphasizes having a “career”, especially with the long hours most people put in, and yet so many people hate their jobs or are not passionate about them. I am finding more and more that I am not passionate about my chosen field (mechanical engineering) that I chose because it seemed “safe.” Almost ten years out of school and while I don’t hate my job, I don’t totally love it. I don’t want to work for someone else. I am over the hour long commute, not spending enough time with my daughter and having a husband who frequently travels (but its good money!). I also wanted to be an artist when I was younger and didn’t pursue that field for the same reasons. I feel stuck in a lot of ways and know I am not on the right path I am too exhausted from the hamster wheel of life (paid job, mom / single parenting a lot of the time, old house / repairs etc) to focus on what I do want to pursue. I am trying to be open to new opportunities that may present themselves / being present in the moment but I often am overwhelmed that life is just flying by at lightening speed and it freaks me out that so much of my time and energy are absorbed in a career I am less than stoked about. So inspired by your story and your passion!

  • katieeob

    I love this too! All your posts lately are on point. Deciding screw what’s expected of me is how I ended up ditching the NYC suburb life with the NYC job, now living permanently in the rocky mountains in Colorado and doing a kinda mountain hippie thing (still got that finance job too though). Sorry, not sorry. Haha.

  • Rachel Stein

    Love this post, Annie. It especially resonates with me because I’m fairly happy at my office job, but also know that my true passion is in health and nutrition. I’m constantly going back and forth between the pros and cons of each. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

  • bananasandbellinis

    Great post. I can totally relate to this. I feel right now like I have all of these ideas and dreams and things I want to do, but taking the leap to start fully, 100% pursuing them is scary. It’s great to know you went through the same thing and ended up on top. So inspiring…thanks for sharing!

  • blawnde

    I totally know that “stuck” feeling, but it’s refreshing to remember you’re not stuck. Just keep being open to new opportunities and present in the moment. At some point, you will know what you need to do. You will either become so tired of what you’re doing or so inspired by something else. Hang in there, trust the process, and know that you can make changes in your life if you want! X

  • blawnde

    Thank you!! 🙂 I love that you made a drastic change and don’t apologize for a second. You shouldn’t! Life’s way too short!! So stoked for you!! X

  • blawnde

    Half the battle is finding your true passion, so you’ve already got a headstart. If you know what you really want to do, the rest is details. You can take the steps and make the changes to get where you want to be now that you know where you want to go. Exciting!

  • blawnde

    It is totally completely scary. I had many tears and moments of feeling like I was going to be a total loser. We make things a lot worse in our heads and are a lot harder on ourselves than we need to be. There is something super invigorating about taking the leap and going all in on something. You will never be able to know for sure that things will work out. You might as well take those chances and try. X

  • Ethereal Balance

    Annie, you’re killin it! Your posts have hit home so much for me. I quit my job last year and this was a long thought out. I fortunately was in a position where I saved up enough money where I was able to do that. Did a lot of soul searching. Decided that I’ll be going back into the field where I left because it would be great support for my future ventures which is where my passion lie. And I guess I’ll just say it, I’m going back to the field of accounting haha. I hope to open up my side business next year to do what my heart sings. Your story is inspiring to me and reminds me to hustle and to look inward for the life of my dreams.

  • Lauryn

    Love this and love you!! So inspiring. xoxo, L

  • Natalie Mendell

    I never ever comment on people’s blog posts but this post really touched a soft spot. I’m 24 years old and I am going through a stage that sounds exactly like the stage you were going through as a lawyer.. I used to love what I do but I can’t stand my new boss and work has become very un-enjoyable. I would do anything to be my own boss and this post just really reassured me/motivated me to do so. Thank you!

  • Annie A

    Wow what timing! just last night i had another tearful session of doubt about my current college carreer. Hoping that i will be as happy and passionate with whatever i end up doing as you are! Love your blog.

  • blawnde

    Love YOU! XXX

  • blawnde

    Thank you so much!! That is so cool you are opening your side business! Good luck! X

  • blawnde

    Thank you for leaving a comment! And reading my blog 🙂 I think you’re in a great spot in life. 24 is an age where you don’t quite have too much responsibility yet. You’re flexible and malleable. You can bend and change direction without too much consequence and bounce back because we are resilient when we’re young. I think you should go for whatever it is you want to pursue that feels good right now. You can always pick back up if it doesn’t work out. XX

  • blawnde

    Aw, good luck Annie! Keep your head up and your ears open to listen to the signs of where you are meant to be. You will figure it all out I promise! X

  • Lipstick Blogger

    Love your blog and this post. I just left my job after being miserable, I was living a life in constant fear of everything that could go wrong rather than trusting in karma and having faith in myself. It is so inspiring to hear from others who have followed their heart.

  • Avery

    Total goosebumps right now. I have been having this same internal conversation with myself for a while now, battling with what it means to be “successful” as I venture out to make my way as a writer & starting an online magazine. How important it is for us to chase our passions!

  • Libby Crow

    Completely resonate with your post, pretty Annie. 🙂 I did the college thing, became an elementary teacher…and although I liked teaching, realized I was just going through the motions. When my Dad passed away in my second year of teaching, it was a wake up call. I really thought hard about how I was living life and showing up in the world. I started taking care of myself, getting into nutrition and yoga, and living a new, more vibrant life. I walked away from teaching [let me tell you about hassle I got from friends/family about letting go of my “good insurance” and my “stable job”….what a nightmare! A couple people were happy for me, but I had to push through on my own—it gets lonely being an entrepreneur sometimes. It’s been 2 years since starting my business and doing the scary, unique thing and I’m so happy I took the leap. It’s hard but I choose passion, challenge, and authenticity over fake comfort zones. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your experience. I just adore you.
    XOXO-Libby

  • Pingback: Loving Lately 10.16.14 | The Balanced Blonde()

Related Posts

Gluten and Dairy Free Avocado Toast

Hi my loves! I posted my breakfast on IG stories and you guys freaked out for the recipe, so here you go!...

Easy Vegan Dinner

  Hi friends!! I made this dinner the other night, and a lot of you asked for the recipe on Instagram, so...

Beauty Ingredients to Avoid

Hi my beauties! I hope you are all having a fabulous day or night wherever you are, whatever you’re doing! Today’s post...

blawnde 2016 | design by golive hq

Copyright © 2022 · Blawnde on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

  • Home
  • About
  • Press
  • Shop
  • Contact